No matter how successful one is, no matter what they have achieved, some people do not experience the joy of success. They don’t feel confident or competent regardless of what they have done in their lives. Have you ever experienced this? It is actually quite common among high achievers, for a lot of reasons. When exploring the “I am Enough” mindset for this blog series, I have come across some interesting points. High achievers sometimes will reach a point in their career where they feel like they are unable to keep going. (Saymeh, 2023) Those high achievers may feel that they can’t continue at their same rate, and they become ashamed. They start to suffer in silence, and they start to doubt their own achievements. Or they can’t bring themselves to believe that they actually did accomplish something and when others praise them, they feel guilty. This happens for a variety of reasons including family and peer pressure, fear of being found out as a fraud (even though they are not a fraud) and simply personality quirks. For example, someone who is quite introverted may not have the social skills to accept praise for accomplishments. This tends to become an isolating feeling, giving rise to negative self-talk and inadequacy. Imposter syndrome can severely inhibit the mindset of “I am Enough!” When one doubts his or her adequacy, feels as though he or she is a fraud and will be found out in time, that person simply cannot believe he or she is enough. There are ways, fortunately, to overcome imposter syndrome. One of those ways is to change expectations when working on achieving a goal. Don’t make perfection the goal. Just because you don’t know everything, doesn’t mean you know nothing. (Fu, 2019) Focus instead on the things you do know, the things you are good at, and work on those areas where you still need some skill. It is also important at times like these to enlist the help of those who are good at the things you could use some help on. Remember, you will be defined by how you react to certain scenarios, not necessarily the success of the scenarios. Failure is not a bad thing, it is an opportunity to learn something. References
Saymeh, A. (2023, February 22). What is imposter syndrome? Retrieved from BetterUp: https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-is-imposter-syndrome-and-how-to-avoid-it#what Fu, E. (2019, October 7). 3 Ways to Overcome Imposter Synddrome in the Workplace. Retrieved from indeed: https://www.indeed.com/lead/impostor-syndrome
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Some thoughts from professional counselor, Trudi Griffin, include speaking honestly, don’t put others down just to make yourself look good, and surround yourself with friends with integrity. (Griffin, 2022) Of course, these things make sense all the time, but pay close attention to them as your energy increases with the warm weather. It’s easy to fall into bad behavior patterns when everything around you seems to be going well. The weather is nice, people are more relaxed, and lounging by the pool becomes a priority. There are five stages to successful behavior change, steps that should be reviewed as you find yourself transitioning to a more relaxed, yet more productive person. You are enough, but that enough can be altered through positive change. The steps, as outlined by James Prochaska at the University of Rhode Island and further defined by Donna Webb, a Health Coach with Cecelia Health, are: 1. Precontemplation is the stage at which there is no intention to change behavior in the foreseeable future. 2. Contemplation is the stage in which people are aware that a problem exists and are seriously thinking about overcoming it but have not yet made a commitment to take action. 3. The Preparation stage can be considered the information gathering and planning stage. 4. Action is the stage in which individuals modify their behavior, experiences, or environment in order to overcome their problems. 5. Maintenance is the stage in which people work to prevent relapse and consolidate the gains attained during action. (Webb, 2016) The take-away here is this: Yes, we are all enough, yet as the transitions in our lives affect who we are, and how we react to change, we understand that we don’t just stop our lives when we reach that “I Am Enough” stage. Being enough involves transitioning and changing to embrace the newness we face each day. Don’t become stagnant just because you are already enough. References
Griffin, T. (2022, September 28). How to Stay True to Yourself. Retrieved from wikiHow to do anything. . . : https://www.wikihow.com/Stay-True-to-Yourself Webb, D. (2016, January 20). The Five Stages to Successful Behavior Change. Retrieved from Cecelia Health: https://www.ceceliahealth.com/the-five-stages-to-successful-behavior-change |
AuthorI am a Performance Enhancement Specialist with a background in Emergency Psychiatric Medicine and Community Addiction. Archives
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