It’s easy to say we don’t do this. I mean, who is constantly comparing themselves to others? We are who we are, and we are enough! Right? Think about it. When was the last time you looked at someone and thought to yourself “I wish my hair was like hers.” Or “Why can’t I be the one who got that job?” We actually do this pretty much daily – and often unconsciously – and we need to stop. While it may motivate us to better ourselves, constantly comparing ourselves to others can lead to negative thoughts. Often, when we are making these comparisons, we often compare our lesser qualities with a person’s best qualities. This completely skews our judgment. Feelings of jealousy, frustration, and hopelessness emerge if comparisons continue. If left unaddressed, chronic anxiety and depression can stem from such behavior. To avoid comparisons, people may look for others’ faults to make themselves feel better. This is just as unhealthy as tearing yourself apart for what you don’t have or don’t look like. (Perry, 2022) So, what do we do about this? How can we stop comparing ourselves to others? There are several steps to take:
Eleanor Roosevelt said it best: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. If you want to be happy with who you are, where you are in life, and satisfied with your circumstances, you can start practicing gratitude, which leads to contentment. If you are content with your life, you won’t spend time worrying about what others are doing or thinking. (Cruze, 2023) As you are focusing on your own strengths and goals, reflect on where you were a year ago, or five years ago. Have you reached the goals you set for yourself then? Your efforts need to be on competing with yourself, not others. If you have not achieved previously set goals, why not? Perhaps the goals are no longer relevant, or perhaps the goals were not achievable. Not achieving goals is not a bad thing, and one we will explore in a future post, but focus on the goals you HAVE achieved – and celebrate those successes. Focusing on yourself and your own achievements can go a long way in stopping the desire to compare yourself to others – and finding fault in your shortcomings. References
Cruze, R. (2023, January 10). How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. Retrieved from ramseysolutions: https://www.ramseysolutions.com/personal-growth/how-to-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others Perry, E. (2022, February 8). Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: Do these 10 Things Instead. Retrieved from BetterUp: https://www.betterup.com/blog/comparing-yourself-to-others
0 Comments
The change comes before we arrive at the state of mind where we can say with confidence that “I am Enough.” It’s one thing to tell yourself that you are enough, but quite another to actually believe it. In order to be the best version of yourself, you need to get away from the idea that being enough isn’t about perfection – and it’s also not about being dormant. It’s about accepting who you are, flaws and all. It’s about understanding you are human, and giving yourself the safe space you need to grow. (Peer, 2013 Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg may have been referring to global and/or political change when she said, “Real change, enduring change, happens one step at a time,” but we can apply her philosophy to our own personal change profiles. Baby steps, not major, jumping off a cliff steps, but small steps made consistently. Over time, those small steps will add up to major growth. Another important aspect of our growth and change is that it is not linear. Sometimes you may feel that you are not moving toward your goal. In fact, you may feel that you are actually moving away from your goal, when in reality, you’re doing what you need to get there. (Continuous Improvement, 2020) Take the small steps, consistently, every day on the path to believing that you are enough! References
Continuous Improvement. (2020, October 15). Retrieved from Real life Practice: https://www.reallifepractice.com/2020/10/real-change-enduring-change-happens-one-step-at-a-time-ruth-bader-ginsburg/ Peer, M. (2013, August 1). "I am Enough" - Change Your Life with Marisa Peer. Retrieved from Marisa Peer: https://marisapeer.com/i-am-enough-marisa-peer/ |
AuthorI am a Performance Enhancement Specialist with a background in Emergency Psychiatric Medicine and Community Addiction. Archives
December 2023
Categories |