There are times when believing we are not enough is easy. We dwell on our flaws, our imperfections. We spend too much time comparing ourselves to others. It is during these times when we need to look at the reasons it is important to believe we are enough. Think about confidence. When you complete something successfully, that feeling of accomplishment will give you confidence to do anything you wish. (Rebecca, 2020) Count those wins, no matter how big or small, and reflect on them and watch your confidence grow. There are four aspects of being enough we need to embrace: being worthy, being loved, being valid, and being acceptable. These four aspects are part of our lives every day. They are manifested in the things we are passionate about. (Rebecca, 2020) If you feel you are a burden to those around you for whatever reason, you might be asking yourself “Why am I not good enough?” Do you find yourself constantly apologizing for taking up space, or asking for help? If that is the case, you might be looking for conditional love. You might think you have to do something or be something before someone can love you. (Elizabeth, 2021) Conditional love is what we expect when we believe we won’t be loved unless we meet certain conditions. When we relate being enough to conditional love, we are more apt to judge others unfairly, or think our life is not worthy unless we are successful. This thinking is actually setting yourself up for failure. What is success? According to Dictionary.com, success is the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals But this definition leads to questions about the definition of favorable accomplishment. Who decides what the favorable accomplishment of goals is? Often we place these ideals to high, but remember, it is not possible to maintain high levels of success, personal or financial, indefinitely. If you find yourself in this mode of thinking it is time to make some changes. Start by making a list of the positive things about you. Remember the successes you have had and reflect on them, both the small successes and the momentous ones. Think about the things you enjoy doing. What about your friends? Who are they? Why are they your friends? Your worth is your choice, nobody else has the power to determine what you are worth. References
Elizabeth, D. (2021, October 31). 12 Ways to Turn "Why am I not good enough?" into "I am enough". Retrieved from Wild Simple Joy: https://wildsimplejoy.com/why-am-i-not-good-enough/ Rebecca. (2020). 15 Reasons to Believe You Are Enough. Retrieved from Minimalism Made Simple: https://www.minimalismmadesimple.com/home/you-are-enough/
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Before we explore the meaning of “I am Enough,” we need to look at what it DOESN’T mean. Being enough isn’t the end result of a lot of hard work. It isn’t an indication of what you have learned and how you have grown. It doesn’t mean you’re perfect and powerful. (I Am Enough Meaning, n.d.) Being enough doesn’t imply that you will never need any help. Being enough does mean that you are aware of and accept your flaws without letting them define your capabilities. You are enough in the way you are. Confidence in your abilities comes when you believe you are enough. The following poem by Jennifer Healey states just what it means to be ENOUGH: "I Am Enough" Poem There is a wholeness that’s already mine. It’s already ours. I am not just the seed, I am the rain that waters the flower. It’s a reality that’s already there, That I am enough. I take on faith That wholeness is already mine, That I need do nothing to deserve, That my worthiness is based only on my being. I am wise enough to let go, And I am strong enough to remember the truth Of who I really am. I can encounter the world In such a way That I remember who I am. I am the rest inside the unrest. I am the depth of the sky, And the light piercing the sea. I am the crest of a wave. All that I need to be, I am. There is no problem to solve in this moment. There is no plan to make, No failure to be feared, No other place to be. This moment is enough. This place is enough. This imperfection is enough. I am patient enough for my life to unfold in divine timing. I feel the fullness of my life in this moment. I feel the richness of my life in this space. I am loved beyond thought, And I have nothing to prove. There is no one to impress. I receive the message That being is enough. I am wise enough to see magic through a child’s eyes. I am resilient enough to see past the pain. I am kind enough to realize That my worth has been with me This whole time. Beyond the shadows That I have created, The message remains: I am the same. I have always been enough, Simply by being here. Simply by being. It only takes a moment, And I remember this again. (Healey, 2021) Take this poem out when you are feeling that you are not enough. When your life seems to be pointless or something catastrophic has shattered your self-worth. Also, read it when you are feeling enough, when you know who you are and what you are doing. It will help affirm those positive thoughts. References
Healey, J. (2021, March 23). "I am Enough" Poem. Retrieved from healingbrave.com: https://healingbrave.com/blogs/all/the-i-am-enough-poem I Am Enough Meaning. (n.d.). Retrieved from Enough: https://www.enovgh.com/i-am-enough-meaning/ There are ways to get over any feelings you may have of not being “enough.” Think about where the feelings of not being good enough come from. They could stem from childhood experiences, or possibly a fear of rejection. Sometimes you may feel you don’t have the support you need from family or friends. It could even be that you have experienced physical changes that you perceive to be negative. Whatever is going on to make you feel like you are not enough, there are ways to overcome those feelings. Start by talking to a trusted friend or counselor. Sometimes just another ear is enough to start you thinking more positively about yourself. Developing a better sense of your own worth can be accomplished by changing your language and deleting any self-deprecating words from your thoughts. Even portraying a more positive, confident body language can help build your confidence. Focus on your friendships, your family, and prioritize those activities that make you feel confident and fulfilled. (Uniacke, 2022) Some factors that influence self-worth include:
References
Gupta, S. (2022, September 30). What is Self-Worth. Retrieved from verywellmind: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-worth-6543764 Uniacke, K. (2022, December 15). If You Feel Like You're Not Good Enough. Retrieved from A Conscious Rethink: https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/12840/not-good-enough-for-him-her/ |
AuthorI am a Performance Enhancement Specialist with a background in Emergency Psychiatric Medicine and Community Addiction. Archives
December 2023
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